Are you smarter than a 2nd grader?

Final words before lights out last night:

Thing 2, climbing up the ladder to the top bunk: "Mom, you ARE going to be there to meet me after school RIGHT???"

OK, yesterday you didn't want me within 20 feet of you at pickup, WTH?? I had cursed your little ass for growing up so quick and shoving me aside at the tender age of 7. Not that i'm holding a grudge or anything. Nope, not me, i'll just quietly sit in the car and wait on you to find me. This must be what MY mother feels like.

Me: "Nope, you have golf team after school remember? I'll pick you up after,"

Thing 2: "NO MOOOOOOMMMM, you HAVE to be there after school, somebody has to walk me over to the coach - it's the rule - REMEMBER??? You're going to get me in trouble!!!"

Look kid, you better get used to it. At least it's for something small like cutting across the middle school soccer field un-chaperoned - and not my mouth. You will come to understand that it's usually what comes out of my mouth that gets EVERYONE in trouble. I'm apologizing now in advance for all the torture that i'm sure you will be forced to endure as you grow up.

Me: "Babe, your teacher walks you over, just like she did last week - and the week before that. What's the deal - why are you having such a meltdown?"

Thing 2: "NO MOM - SHE'S NOT GOING TO BE THERE TOMORROW - WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SOMEBODY ELSE TEACHING!! - MOM, YOU HAVE TO GET ME TOMORROW."

Me: "T2, look, whatever teacher teaches tomorrow, i'm sure they are more than capable of walking all the boys over to golf team."

Thing 2: "NO MOM, HE'S A RENTAL, HE WON'T KNOW!!"

Me, laughing out loud: "Do you mean he's a substitute??"

Thing 2: "HE'S NOT SMART ENOUGH TO BE A REAL TEACHER - THAT'S WHY HE'S ONLY A RENTAL!! They won't let him teach for real."

See, he is my kid after all. Come on, everybody thinks it, but only the smallest ones are able to just put it right out there. Mr. Substitute Teacher, I salute you. Good luck to you. I hope you turn out to be REALLY SMART. Smarter than a 2nd grader anyway.