Sunday, September 7, 2008

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

I sincerely believe that. Because my mother is the QUEEN of pouncing on me just when other things in my life begin to settle down. It makes one really appreciate the phrase "no rest for the wicked".


This is the best mother-daughter scene EVER. It's funny because it's TRUE and it depicts every fight i've ever had with my mother. Thank you, Ya-Yas. It is because of moments just like this in my life that i got down on the ground at my first ultrasound at the sight of my son's pee-pie. HALLUJAH, the crazy stops here.

I was born and raised in the south. YES, FLORIDA IS THE SOUTH. In fact, i'm pretty sure you can't go much farther south. We southerners are crazy. If you've seen any films like the one above depicting crazy southern women, or others like Steel Magnolias, Sweet Home Alabama, Something to Talk About and the like, . . . and you're not from the south, you probably think that Hollywood is just hyping up that southern stereotype.

Silly girls.

I love my mother and while i'm sure she loves me (I think it's a law that your mother has to love you right? Especially if you're her only child..?) We don't get along all of the time. IN FACT, i would venture to say that we're are going to have some kind of knock down dragout fight at least once a year. Over something stupid or small that gets totally out of hand. And neither one of us will give in, goddam it, because someone has to win - otherwise that fight was justed wasted energy that we could have put into:

  • a) yelling at our significant other (because southern women always get the last word when fighting with a man)

  • b) gossiping about another woman from from church or junior league

  • c) or fighting with the older generation - i.e. HER mother. (i actually prefer this one because it's like watching the Olympics)
So far, this fight has lasted 7 weeks. No phone calls. No emails. No nothing. hmmm.

Ask me what it's over and i couldn't tell ya. I mean, I could tell you where it started (at V disciplining Thing 1 harsher than she thought necessary)...but it's not where it eventually went to an hour later (as she was SCREAMING at me and my dad on the balcony of our vacation condo that she didn't approve of my lifestyle. No, i'm not a stripper, i'm actually a pretty well paid account manager for an ISP)...or where it ended up when I told my dad that "She needs to go. You need to take her. NOW." (This was when she told me that i had NEVER LIKED HER, I HAD ALWAYS HATED HER) Seriously?? What am i... 13?? Somebody get this drama queen an agent - with scenes like this, there's big money to be made.

I will keep y'all posted on this cold war and let you know if there are any new developments. In the meantime, i will go and make sure my phone line is working so that when she does call, it will ring through loud and clear.

1 comment:

Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

I'm sorry about the fight.

I love that whole movie, and that scene is the best!

It would never happen to me, but it would probably be more fun and more productive if it did. My mother is a midwesterner. In Ohio, we didn't yell. We actually say NOTHING. Nothing at all. Tears fall. Or not. But all in utter dark and deafening SILENCE.

Sometimes, I've not even had any idea exactly what I did to cause the silence.

Nothing is resolved or talked about. It just gets sort of let go of somehow, over time.

It's not healthy AT ALL.