This is how it went.
Walker: THAT'S our boat??!?
Nate: It has a dent in the side.
Walker: Our captain's a GIRL??
Nate: How old IS she? She looks REALLY young. Are you sure she's old enough?
Vance: Get in the god-$%#& boat.
Me: Can i drink on this boat?
So, we all pile in and motor towards the sandbar. We get there, the capt throws anchor over the side and says we can all hop into the water.
Nate: It looks too deep.
Walker: It does. How deep is it? How do you KNOW?
Walker: Sharks. I'm pretty sure sharks come into the bay.
Me, shaking me head violently to the captain, fingers crossed behind my back, imploring her to back me up in my lie.
Captain: Nope. NO sharks. See?
Vance: Get off the god-#$%@ boat for chrissake.
Me: Where is that koozie?
Once in the water, nice captain lady points out all the sand dollars under our feet and the tons of sea urchins every few feet. She even goes underwater and picks one up to show the boys.
Nate: AAAUUUUUUGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME - NOW - PUTITDOWNPUTITDOWNPUTITDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In a flash Nate has walked on water and is now on Vance's back, no limb touching the water.
Walker, however, is underwater trying to find what Nate has knocked out of the captain's hand.
Would you like to see what sent my 8 year old Jacque Cousteau into orbit?
This. Not the sand dollar. Nope. See that TINY speck of beige orange on the top? That's a crab. The size of my little pinky fingernail. Not even the whole nail. The size of my nailbed. There were about 10 of them on the underside of the sand dollar.
So pretty much the entire time we were in the water, he was on Vance's back. Poor Vance. It was a long day. And then, we piled back into boat. And promptly ran over a shark. No kidding. Yes, my boys now know that honesty isn't a policy here as much as it's a suggestion.
Then, when we got back to the beach house, the first thing out of Nate's mouth is a direct order to put the TV on Deadliest Catch. That's not the funny part.
The funny part is that he looked me dead in the eye and said "That's what I'm going to do when i grow up."
Reach for the stars babe.