Yeah, I know he's a kind man. He rescues animals. He goes to court (3 times in the last 2 months that i know of) to fight for animals that can't speak for themselves because they've been killed in horrendous ways by their owners. Animals LOVE him. You see no animals cowering in his waiting room. Dogs wag their tales and kitties purr when he picks them up.
So, why you ask, am i sitting here sewing a voodoo doll with his tufts of his hair? Because i am in PUG HELL here.
My pug is old. He is blind. He is also deaf. He's narcoleptic. And he has 2 to 3 seizures a day. Which causes him to lose his bowels. For that reason, he lives in our kitchen closed off by baby gates. I get up to the smell of coffee, dog poo and pee every morning. I mop the floor before i have my first cup of coffee and curse the vet.
I feed the boys, pack snacks for school and drop them off and come back to more dog poo and pee. I wash 4 towels a day and re-wash his doggy pillow countless times so that he's not sleeping on piss. This continues about every 4 hours - rinse, repeat.
Last Friday I gathered up my courage and called the vet to make the APPOINTMENT. I felt it was the right decision. For his little soul and for what little sanity i have left. The vet was out so i left a message. He called me back that night and suggested that maybe we should put the dog on phenylbarbitol, before we pull the pug plug. Now, see, here is where you're going to see the side of me i'm not so proud of. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO RUN A DOGGY NURSING HOME HERE INDEFINITELY.
I have 2 small boys, 2 small kittens, 1 large cat, 1 teenage girl driving, 2 of us that BOTH work from home (a SMALL home), a job that has not told me if i'm keeping this job after merger or if they are going to make me move across the country, one boy being diagnosed with several PPD issues and I'm having panic attacks while trying to keep sane. I AM NOT UP FOR THIS.
But somehow, with all of this running through my head, my mouth still betrayed me and i showed what a spineless jellyfish i really am, and said "Ok, i'll pick the pills up". And i did. And i cursed some more. And i popped a beer. Which i handed to Vance and then made a Vodka Tonic. In a tall glass. That would be the pink tumbler you see here. Yes, it was full. That little white thing? That's a serenity candle that i thought about throwing at the vet the next time i saw him.
This is the pug.
This is the pug on drugs.
I think he looks happy. Don't you?
5 comments:
Oh no, that just breaks my heart!!! That poor doggie!! Yes, your vet is a flaming idiot. It's clear that your pug is senile and sick and needs to be put to rest. It's a very tough decision, we had to do it with our Maltese. I hope your vet supports you in making the right choice for your puggie.
I think you already know this, but I also have a son with PDD. He was diagnosed in June. It's been such a tough road and we still have a long way to go but things are getting better for us. If you need anything let me know! (except for poop cleaning. I don't do poop cleaning) :-)
Hey Licha - this PPD thing - it's either out to prove i truly suck as a mother or it's elevating me to sainthood. Yet to be determined. Yesterday Walker had some secondary tests done where he had to read and identify different words where we watched through a one-way glass and it was interesting to see how he struggles mentally to put his thoughts in order. We have more tests to do next week and all of this in a rush to get him officially labeled by the state so that when they hold FCAT testing in the schools for the 3rd graders he's given extra time to complete them - otherwise he's screwed. i hate this shit.
Sheri - what a position to be in, loving your little pug (as you love all your pet) but seeing him suffering so much and dealing with the many consequences of his suffering, too. It seems that you both deserve peace. I hope the best way opens up for you both soon.
I'm not familiar with PDD so had to look it up. I hope you all get the support and assistance to give him every opportunity for success in life.
How'd the voodoo doll turn out? :-)
Yes - the testings part is the shits! It's hard to watch your children being labeled. And the process is slow and confusing! Bubba was given great serviced due to his diagnosis, so I can't complain but it's still hard.
I don't know about you, but I struggle with frustration, impatience and self-pity! If it makes you feel better, it does get easier as things start to move along. Especially when you start seeing your boy do things that you never thought possible!
it's time to put him down. listen, i'm the biggest animal lover you will ever meet (i spent $5K on one dog who had cancer trying to follow vet's orders and prolong her life). but, in the end, once they are sick and they can no longer be a dog, the HUMANE thing is to put them down. i think your vet, as kindhearted as he seems to be, is a little too unrealistic and has crossed the line on doing the right thing. this does not benefit the dog; it benefits his pockets, but not the dog.
good luck. if putting him down is what your heart feels you need to do, then why don't you find another vet just to put him down or an animal hospital and just lie to him and tell him he died in his sleep next time you see him. why aggravate yourself more than you have to?
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