Tuesday, December 2, 2008

So, how was your day?

10:00 am
Volkswagon Dealership: "Sheri? Your car's ready to be picked up - the final bill was $1700.00.
Me: "OK, Vance will come by and pick it up. Here's my credit card...."
1:00 pm
Vance: "Hey, the oil gauge is still not working and the car is doing the same damn thing it was doing before we took it in."
Me: "Then take it back - I just paid the equivalent of Walker's first semester of college to get it out of there -TAKE IT BACK."
Vance: silence.
Me: "Hello? Did you hear me? Did the phone drop?"
....more silence...oh now i can hear...it's STEAM coming through the cell phone.
Vance: "Fine."
Me: "Babe, i have to get it fixed - it's got to go back"

Vance: "OK. Fine. Let me go. I'll call you when i charge my battery."
...that is code for "Goddammit Sheri, I have a million things to do and being your valet is not one of them."
re-direct anger to VW.
Me: "Lillian? Yeah, it's Sheri, I just talked to Vance and he said that the oil gauge is still not working and the..."
VW Lill: "We tried to get it to correct it by unplugging the sensor and re-plugging it back in - but it still wouldn't stay consistently on - we did replace the fuel pump though so that hesitation should be worked.."
Me..escalating to talk OVER her: "Yeah - that hesitation that you're saying is fixed is still there and i expect that it should be gone now, like the $1700 out of my checking account."
VW Lill: "Well, just bring it back it in."
Me: "That's what i'm telling you we're doing."

re-redirecting back to V.
Message on V's phone: "Call me and let me know if you are REALLY going back to the dealership so i know what to tell the car rental place about returning the rental."
Call back conversation from V to me: " DIDN'T I TELL YOU I WAS TAKING IT BACK?"
Me: "KIND OF. You said FINE." grrrr.

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Boss' Boss on phone: "Sheri, i need you to pull the month end labor hours and cross it against our month end productivity."
Me: "We don't get those numbers for another week, the report's 7 days in lag."
BB: "Yeah, that's not going to work - i need that like now."
Me: "I'll find out if we can get the report manually pulled - but then I'll have to piece meal the info and right now i'm in the middle of paying commissions...."
BB: "OK - so you can get it to me in an hour?"
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Me: "Were you on our conference call about how to enter your sales into the tracking tool?"
Sales Mgr: "Well no, i had to be out in the field so i couldn't call in - can you just research those customers for me?"

Me: "Uhm, no, there's 1 of me and 100+ of you. That's why i had 3 different calls so that everyone could attend at least one of them to understand how to record your sales. You're going to have to do the research on these because the customer numbers don't exist."
Sales Mgr: "Well, i can't be the only one who's having this issue - do you know if the tool is working right?"

Me: "I'm SURE IT'S WORKING CORRECTLY, as I was ON the calls THAT YOU WERE NOT."
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Walker: "Mo0mmmmmmmmmm, the dog is having a seizure again."
Me: "I'm coming...."
Walker "He just pooped all over the kitchen floor."

of course he did...........................................................
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Boss' Boss: "Hey - i know you're slammed doing commissions, but i really need that productivity report - can you get it done by COB?
Me: "It's already 6pm."
Boss' Boss "No, MY COB, I'm in Oregon today."
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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Nate: "Mom I need sticks."
Me: "For what?"
Nate: "School"
Me; "why......"
Nate: "Teepees"
Nate: "and i need something to make Indians."
Me: "And how are you going to make these people?"
Nate: "Can we go to craft store tonight?"
Ok, teachers, can we just call the period between Thanksgiving and New Year's a free pass already??????
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Walker: "Mom, the dog just threw up and peed on the kitchen floor again!"
Me: "I know, I see it. I'm looking for our cleaning towels. Keep him from walking through the middle of it."
Walker, holding the egyptian cotton Pottery Barn towels: "I got it already..."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....
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1 comment:

Rose said...

How was my day? Calm and placid compared to yours - lol! What a day! And how delightfully you tell it. You had me in tears with laughter! (Maybe it wasn't so funny to you, but omigosh, you slay me.)