Thursday, January 8, 2009


My sweet boy. I miss you so much. My heart aches when I look at this picture of you sleeping (and snoring and farting) on your favorite doggy bed.

I am so sorry that you're little body betrayed you the way it did - it must have been hell having your world go dark and your body go stiff only for you to wake up a few minutes later sprawled on the floor in a mess. And i'm sorry that i grumbled and complained everytime i had to pull out the mop or throw your bed in the wash - it was 100 times worse for you.

I won't forget the day i got you. You were a gift from a then-boyfriend who took me to the pet store and showed me this pug that was determined to pull this small bag of puppy chow across the floor back to your bed. You pretty much had the run of the place, and the manager warned us saying that you had already been returned once because you were a high-maintenance dog. You were the oldest dog for sale, and the owner even discounted you because you were almost a year old. But i was in love. So we went home, you in my lap, wimpering because you were scared, not knowing who i was or where you were going.

You quickly warmed up though - especially the next day when I took you to the beach. Oh my freakin' god, you were in doggy heaven. Well, not like now, but you know. You would run to the waves as they were going out and BARK your little pug head off, and then when the tide would turn to come back in, you would run your little butt back to the soft sand and get behind me barking the entire time. I have pictures of our beach trips with you running and your ears flopping, your muzzle dark black, not a speck of the gray it eventually turned.

You were such a trooper - you outlasted the boyfriend, the move to the condo, the new boyfriend that turned into the husband, another move to a rental, a move to a new house. THEN THE BABY CAME. You would jump up with me on the couch and lay in the crook of the back of my knees and not move. When i would pace the floor with braxton hicks - you would get in the middle of the living room and watch me go back and forth, and when i finally tired and went to bed, you were there, sleeping on the floor on my side of the bed. Baby number 2 came and another new, bigger house. By then, you had started to lose your eyesight but you learned that house really quickly and chased the boys down the hall as they toddled along on their chubby little legs. You survived living with Blue - the red tick hound we took in (yes, he was crazy but he did save you from the hawk that tried to steal you out of the back yard - so he earned angel wings with that move). You went on to outlast the husband and went with me in the divorce, as it should have been. For the first year, you had peace here. You were getting old, but your body hadn't given out and you didn't have another dog to make you crazy so you had peace. We both did.

But what is that phrase, life's like an hourglass glued to the table? It is. I wish i could get time back with you to take you to the beach again and watch you run and ruff and play. The boys - especially Nate - are heartbroken. I am crushed. But i know wherever you are, you're running and you're legs are working, and you're not having to take medicine, and life is good for you. I love you so much little guy. Until we meet again - play in those waves.


Paige Lacey said...

My heart goes out to you.

Dogs are like little angels who come to stay with us for a little while here on earth... It sounds like he had a very happy life and made yours all the better for having come to stay...

Licha said...

Ugh. I'm SOOOO sorry. As you know, we recently lost our dear Spencer and I can totally relate to your pain.

I miss him more than I could ever describe and just thinking of him makes me tear up.

Hugs and kisses to you and your family during this difficult time!

Karen said...

My sympathies. We lost our old man in August, and it still hurts. I know how you feel.

rebecca said...

Your post made my eyes water. I know full well the unconditional love a dog has for an owner and the love we give them in turn. It is so sad to see them deteriorate and it is one of the hardest things for those of us who love animals to go through.

My sympathies but take comfort in the fact that he was loved and had a good home. Many animals do not have that kind of life.

Missy said...

I stumbled upon your blog today. I am totally heartbroken for you! I know the pain of losing a pet and would wish it upon no one! Awesome tribute!

Rose said...

Mugsy was truly loved in this life! What a beautiful tribute to a member of the family. May he love being free of the seizures and pain and enjoy romping through the open fields of heaven.