Monday, August 31, 2009

Thwack! Can you hear me NOW???

That's what i feel like.

I have not had a great week. In fact I had a pretty bad one. It started with the ex's announcement that he was getting re-married. Wait for it. IN 6 WEEKS. Wait for it AGAIN. AT MY CHURCH.


And to add to this one dash of "just for a taste of i'm not done yet" - they showed up at church yesterday. He's been maybe 3 times in 3 years.

I have posted before how i keep trying to get past this. I know what you're thinking because i'm thinking it myself.


It bothers me. It bothers me that he claims this church when it's convenient. It bothers me that we're all going to the same church. It bothers me that i go there to get centered and find peace. It bothers me that it BOTHERS ME. I know better. I am so not a good role model for my boys right now.

I'm sure there is a lesson here. I'm not stupid. I know when God is throwing a lightning bolt for my head - and then when i ignore it - he finds a way to speak to me - LIKE GETTING IN BLOGLAND. oh yea he did.

I open up laptop to see what everyone was up to this weekend - and BAM - one of my girlfriends posts THIS.

You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

Where is all this tolerance i claim to have? Pray for me. I obviously need it.


Natalie said...

First of all -- gorgeous picture and love the bloggy makeover.

Second of all -- I was reading on some blogs Sunday night and one hit me right upside the head ... same thing.

I will be praying for you - thank you for being transparent. A lot of non-believers are always waiting for us believers to trip up ~ and we do ~ we just admit it and learn from our mistakes. That verse from Matthew was NOT sent to me by mistake. I know it. I've done some mega soul searching lately - and it's good. When you see your ex in church, smile, be polite (I know you have it in you!!) and keep walking. Our pastor said you must always forgive others that have wronged you, but it doesn't mean you have to be their best friend.


Amy said...

The title of this post is hilarious. You are surely getting major points for your sense of humor!

It would test me beyond what I can imagine if my ex was coming to Mass (when convenient) with his new fiancee/wife. This is just a hard one! I also go to get centered, find some peace, be with God. As if I don't have enough distractions - that would kill me.

Go easy on yourself honey! You're only human. Maybe after the wedding they'll not darken the doorstep again, or they'll find a new church.

Chris said...

You can send me a picture of your sils in question than I can advise you better .

Diannia said...

I came across you by accident today and just wanted to say I think your feelings are ok. My ex left me for a woman he met on the internet. She had 2 children-her son being the same age as my youngest son (jr. high age). The ex moved them to our town and in with them w/o the benefit of a divorce first. To say that I was hurt and angry is an understatement! The boys became became "best friends" and my son invited "HER" son to church. He called me from his dad's to let me know the boy was coming to church with him that Sunday. I went outside and cried and in my head hollered at God...I told Him that "SHE" had taken my husband and had my son did I have to give her my church too? Of course His answer was yes...He's their God too. It ended up with the son going to church with us several times and before the ex and she moved back to her hometown they visited "my" church several times. Oh and by the way...the ex works for my husband now...I guess all I wanted to say is go ahead and have your feelings...God's big enough to handle them and when you're ready He'll help you through them if you ask.

maitlandmommy AKA Sheri said...

Thanks guys for the support.

Nat - i do need to work on the forgiveness thing. I think I'm over it most of the time and then BAM - i have a day like this where it's all about how he did me wrong. I need to get over it.

Amy - you are very kind bloggy friend - and i do deal with my angst with humor or i would just break down sometimes. better to laugh than cry!

Diannia - wow. the nerve of your ex. but you.know.exactly.what.i.mean. They can be so clueless sometimes.